The first half of my virtual journal about the 2022 Russian invasion of Ukraine

Anton Kutselyk


All of these stories were published on Medium before and then put together into this compilation.

December 22, 2021

The news is sending a clear signal — Russia is about to invade Ukraine. To many, the message causes a good degree of excitement and thrill.

One more problem that needs my genius solution — say many male experts on Facebook. It’s mostly men who are feeling concerned (excited) with wars, isn’t it?

When you live far away from a potential disaster, the news about it can send you into a galvanic spasm. At least, it can make you think about the privileges and blessings of living in relative peace.

I live in Ukraine, and I find such messages to be uppermost terrifying and, also, incredibly offensive.

I feel terrified because war is the most unpredictable happening, and I hate unpredictability, especially on such a large scale.

What will I do if tomorrow is war? Am I prepared? Can I run away when it all starts? Do plane flights get cancelled as soon as a Russian soldier enters my home?

I didn’t study war in high school or uni.

I know how to live peacefully, but I do not know how to live militantly.

I don’t know how to use a gun. I don’t know where to hide from bombs and missiles. I don’t know how to survive without food, water and social media for more than a day. I don’t know how to unbreak my heart if it gets broken from losing a loved one to a shot or a wreck of a building. I don’t know how to accept the unjust reality of war.

The latter is, also, the very thing that makes war incredibly offensive.

Nothing justifies war — you should avoid it by any means.

Adults often tell us this fairytale when we’re still too small to distinguish a lie from the truth.

When you grow up, you understand that adults use wars and conflicts sparingly, with great enthusiasm and fervour. To prove that you are wrong. To stop you from moving forward. To distract from the insecurities and fears that they’ve been…



Anton Kutselyk

I live in Kyiv and write about war, peace, books and coffee.